Jealousy
by Zazawaz
Summary: Buffy loves her friends. If one of them died she wouldn't be able to live with herself. Set season 1.


Buffy happily headed for the Bronze only to be stopped by her mother. Buffy heard nothing as she drifted off in the middle of her mothers scolding about grades, school etc. "Okay mum, I promise I will study and get at least a B-." Buffy said impatiently. "Can I go now?"

"Fine but I need to see a B-." Her mother replied. Buffy hurried off and headed to the Bronze.

At the Bronze, Buffy sat with Willow and Xander. "Hey Buffs." Xander said, trying not to blurt out something really embarrassing. Before Buffy had arrived, Xander had been asking Willow how he should ask her out. "Should I give her a bracelet? Wait no, a necklace or maybe some earrings but is that too forward?" Xander's questions baffled Willow as she tried to keep up. "Maybe you could make her...jealous?" Willow asked quietly, hoping he would take the hint. "That is a brilliant idea but who should I make her jealous with?" Xander thought about it. He declared, "I have three options either Cordelia, the lunch lady or you."

"I'll do it!" Willow squealed a little bit too excitedly.

"Okay cool, scoot over next to me."

"So what are you guys up to?" asked Buffy.

"You know hanging." Xander said, trying to give Buffy subtle hints.

"Why are you guys so mooshy all of a sudden?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Oh, we haven't told you yet." said Xander, giving Willow the signal that it's ok to tell Buffy.

"Told me what?" asked Buffy.

Willow looked at Xander excitedly and gave Buffy the news.

"We're dating!"

Buffy looked at the pair confused beyond belief. "What?, how?, When?!"

"Just then we decided to start dating!" Xander lied.

Buffy gave the new couple a look of disbelief and confusion. "Um, ok...good for you guys?"

Xander was getting worried about the plan. It didn't seem to be working, so he decided he would give the plan a week and see what happens.

"Buffy? What are you doing here?"

"I'm just felt like talking to you Angel." Buffy had come to give Angel the news of the new relationship.

"Xander and Willow?" asked Angel, surprised.

"Yep, they're together." Buffy replied. "I have to admit I'm kind of jealous. I was thinking of asking Xander out."

"YOU WERE?" asked Angel, getting jealous.

"Yeah, he's been really kind and caring lately." said Buffy, slipping into a lovely daydream involving her and Xander.

Angel was speechless. Little did Buffy know that Angel wanted to get back together with Buffy and was rehearsing before she came.

"I've gotta go now Angel so see you next week." Buffy said her goodbyes and left Angel to rage in the pools of his jealousy.

At dusk, Angel left his home in the Bronze and went to track Xander's scent. Angel found Xander at his home and crept into his room. Xander was in a deep sleep. This made it easier for Angel to get the job done. He snuck up to Xander's bed and grabbed his dagger. Xander stirred slightly and saw a dark figure standing over his bed.

"Wh-who are you?"

Angel didn't answer, only grabbed a silver weapon and covered Xander's mouth. Angel took the dagger and lifted it up. Angel drove the sharp instrument into Xander's body. Xander's screams were muffled by Angels hand, so all Xander could do was die a painful death. The shadowed figure was revealed for the smallest of moments and at a glance Xander could tell that it was Buffy's former lover...Angel. This was Xander's final thought.

The pain of the loss was unbearable. Buffy and Willow's pain was like an army of tiny men poking at their hearts. The thought of Xander was enough to make the pair burst into tears. Every breath was a burden they had to bear. The two would rather try to escape the deep depths of hell than face the music. So one of them didn't.

Willow's body was found the next morning at the bottom of a rocky cliff. She wasn't dead, just in a coma but the loss still felt like a thousand knifes in Buffy's body. Buffy was torn apart by an invisible force called sadness but Buffy didn't have time to grieve properly for the state of her friends, because the master was attacking and evil did not wait for others to grieve.

The master had plans. Plans involving Angel. Sway him over to the dark side and get him to kill the slayer. These plans were on the way to being successful with Angel already killing again for something as insolent and stupid as love, the plan was bound to work. If that pretty little heart gets broken there might be some interesting consequences. Yes, yes this plan shall work. Very well.

Buffy didn't go to school anymore. She couldn't bare to see anyone who had the slightest connections with her friends. She couldn't do anything but hunt. Hunt for the person who did the murder. She didn't talk to Giles anymore, she didn't speak to anyone anymore. She was just a black abyss in the form of a human, dragging her feet around the ground. In time she might find herself again but for now her life is a black hole slowly sucking her in. Each day was a struggle. A struggle to not be swallowed by the black hole. A struggle to not be swallowed by the black abyss that is her life. Some days she thought about Willow. Some days she thought about Xander.

Buffy dragged her feet to the hospital room. Willow had recently awoken from her comatose slumber, giving Buffy a reason to do something. To try and live again. Buffy walked into the hospital room and looked at Willow.

"Hi Willow."

Willow muttered something incoherent. Buffy walked a little closer to Willow. "Uh Willow?"

Another incoherent mutter. "Willow?"

"It's all her fault." Barely a whisper but coherent now. "It's all her fault."

"It's all who's fault?" Buffy asked getting a bit frightened.

"It's all her fault."

"It's all her fault."

"It's all her fault."

"Willow what's happening?" asked Buffy, scared to the bone.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Willow's yells were echoes through the empty hall. Buffy then saw something she hadn't seen when she had first come in. Willow was restrained by handcuffs and on a clipboard next to Willow's bed was a note saying 'patient highly unstable'. "YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE WITH HIM BUFFY!"

"WHY WERN'T YOU THERE!" Buffy was scared and angry she knew she should have been there. Ever since his death she felt guilty about not being there. She should have been there but she wasn't.

Angel had been waiting for Buffy to come running back, but it hadn't happened. Days went by, weeks went by, months went by. No one came. His plan was failing so he went to visit Willow. At dusk, he crept into Willow's hospital room and said an awkward hello. He had heard about what happened and what scared him is that he didn't feel bad about anything anymore he doesn't have any regrets about killing people like he used to. He felt free. Willow glared at him a tear falling down her face and wetting her chin. This isn't what Angel wanted. He thought everyone would be fine after a week but that was not what was happening. It was time to bring Xander back to life.

It would be hard. He would need the ritualistic amulets and candles which he could only get from South Africa, but he would manage. He would need something important to Xander so the spirit would recognise the call from the living. The only thing Xander would recognise would be someone he was close to so that would mean he would have to either get Buffy of Willow but he might accidentally tell them he caused all the pain and suffering by killing Xander. He would have to take the chance.

Angel was ready. He had everything but the most important thing Buffy. He had chosen Buffy over Willow for numerous reasons, the main one being Willow was recently put into a mental asylum. Buffy was hesitant about Angel's idea. She'd heard all the bad things that happen when resurrections go wrong. She really didn't want Xander to become a zombie. She soon realised she couldn't go on without her friends and agreed. Buffy sat on the right side of the candle of life and held the candle of the calling. Angel yelled the ritualistic words.

The next night the two checked the grave and to there surprise there was movement. A hand then another and an "Are you guys gonna help me or what?" The two helped him up and Xander was greeted by a big hug from Buffy.

"Xander!" Buffy shouted with joy. Xander was the first to let go and went to greet the other person. Xander ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him from the graveyard to the ice cream store, to the milk bar, to the school. Everywhere Xander ran Buffy was right behind him. Xander finally had to stop. He had run about three quarters of the town and was tired. Buffy came running after. "Xander why are you running?" asked Buffy. Xander managed to get three words out.

"Angel killed me." Xander was panting like a dog. Buffy was shocked and astounded.

"I should have known Angelus was back." Xander cut Buffy off before she could say anymore. "No not Angelus it was Angel." Buffy was hit with the realisation of the situation.

The first thing Buffy and Xander did was visit Willow. Willow was in room 999, sucking her thumb in the shape of a ball. Buffy came in first and Willow muttered like Buffy had expected her to do. "Willow I brought someone to see you." Xander walked in and Willow jumped up and hugged Xander harder then she had ever hugged anyone before. Tears of happiness streamed down Willow's face. For the first time since Xander's death Willow was at peace.

Angel was depressed Xander had told everyone the truth about his death and now no one wanted anything to do with the vampire who has a soul. What good is my soul if it won't stop me from killing. Angel had nothing to aspire to and nothing to love. Angel looked at the cross and pressed his body against it. Angel did not feel pain as he died. His story lives on. The people and demons who knew his story remembered. They remembered the vampire with a soul.


End file.
